How to add a Message to a Facebook Friend Request

by Wendy Chamberlain on September 15, 2010

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I love to connect with people when using social media.  One of my favourite ways to do this is to include a message when I send someone a friend request.  It’s a great idea, but I realised there may be people that would love to do this but just don’t know how.

So here’s how you do it…

NOTE: Facebook removed this functionality some time ago. You can now have to send a message separately to the step to Add a Friend on Facebook

In Facebook, select the Add as Friend button for the person you wish to add

How to add a Facebook Message - step 1

How to add a Facebook Message - step 1

Facebook will load a window asking you to Send the Request.  On the left of the Send Request button is a small note “Add a personal message…”

How to add a Facebook Message - step 2

How to add a Facebook Message - step 2

Click the text “Add a personal message…” .

A new box will load in the same window titled Message:

How to Add a Facebook Message - step 3

How to Add a Facebook Message - step 3

Add the message you wish to include with your Facebook friend request then click the blue Send request button.

Facebook will load a Request Sent box and your Friends request and message will be delivered to the person you wish to be friends with.

How to Add a Facebook Message - Step 4

How to Add a Facebook Message - Step 4

Try adding Messages to your Facebook requests and see if it helps connect with people.  I’d love to hear how you go!


By Wendy Moore
Copyright 2010 Savvy Web Women Pty Ltd


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Wendy Moore is the founder of and creator of the Savvy List Building Blog – the information packed resource that shows business owners and entrepreneurs how to massively increase the clients they want and put more cash in their pockets by dramatically increasing their public profile and credibility. To receive your FREE Special Report and weekly how-to articles to expand your online List Building toolkit, visit

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Matt Benton November 23, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Have Facebook done away with this in the last year? If I’m viewing a profile there’s a button which say ‘Add Friend’ not ‘Add as Friend’, and if I click it I get a message saying the friend request has been sent – no confirmation screen, no option to add a message before it goes, so I have to send a separate message. Seems it was better before.

Wendy Chamberlain November 23, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Hi Matt,

Yes, Facebook have changed this functionality. Now you cannot send a message WITH the friend request. You can however send a message separately to the person as well as clicking the Add Friend button.

I agree, it was much better before when the message was attached to the friend request.


dpkelly January 6, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I agree it was much easier before. After you click the friend request button, it gives you options to select whether the friend is an aquaintance, close friend, etc. So you never know if you request has been sent. I had to cancel a friend request because of this. This could be socially very dangerous. The help section doesn’t mention any of this either on facebook. I’m very disappointed.

Wendy Chamberlain January 6, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Totally agree dpkelly,

It does not make it clear that the friend request has been sent at all.


YouDontWannaKnow March 12, 2013 at 10:14 am

I wish I could downvote this out of my google query result. Not because your site is bad or anything, but because it’s useless to me.

Great website btw.

Wendy Chamberlain March 12, 2013 at 1:26 pm

Hi YouDontWannaKnow,

Yes, Facebook removed this functionality some time ago. This blog post is two and half years old, that’s a lifetime on social media!

Glad you like our website. 🙂


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